Dear Mike,
I hope you and your beloved are well and I hope you have an exceptional birthday or at least a peaceful one.
Here’s to the coming year which will probably be less scheiße than this one (although I’m not sure if evidence supports that hypothesis).
Either way, we’ll have you around for it and that definitely makes it better.
Tell Anne that someone on the internet she’s never heard of says hello.
And once again, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Your friend in the material world,
Charles