Special Aircraft Service

the SAS Hangar => The Lounge => Topic started by: Wildchild on May 13, 2012, 10:16:16 PM

Title: Military Jokes
Post by: Wildchild on May 13, 2012, 10:16:16 PM
Rules as follows:
1. Can be any Army, Navy, Air Force, or Marines from anywhere around the world,
2. Must be funny,
3. Cannot be extremely offensive ;)
_______________________________________________________________________________

Ill start:

(http://farm5.staticflickr.com/4120/4788148363_93d75acc2c_z.jpg)

(http://www.anniemayhem.com/blog%20pics/MilitaryMotivator2008_06_09.JPG)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Roger Smith on May 13, 2012, 10:54:21 PM
(http://punditkitchen.files.wordpress.com/2011/02/political-pictures-russia-military-guitars.jpg)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: hawker445 on May 13, 2012, 11:21:55 PM
(http://www.strategypage.com/gallery/images/pick-a-winner.jpg)

(http://img.izismile.com/img/img2/20090226/640/humor_640_40.jpg)
(http://www.computertroublesolver.com/image-files/a10-born.jpg)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: CWMV on May 13, 2012, 11:22:34 PM
(http://img2.moonbuggy.org/imgstore/i-fuck-sheep-when-im-not-busy-mortaring-the-base.jpg)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Moggy Cattermole on May 14, 2012, 12:36:54 AM
Quote
cannot be extremely offensive

How about really offensive? Or quite offensive? Fairly? Oh god, IT'S ALL SUBJECTIVE!!! AAAaaaaAAaaaAAaAaAaaAaaaaaaaggggghhh!

*runs off screaming*
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: HundertzehnGustav on May 14, 2012, 12:44:37 AM
That A-10 pic is epic.
what staggers me is that it is appearently safer and cheaper to dismount their wings and ferry them around the globe rather than fly them to places with KC-135 support...

interesting.
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: vpmedia on May 14, 2012, 01:00:29 AM
RAF Pilots Song
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N07darJyUrY&feature=related

Dont wake Hitler
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i0b2vYRZcZI&feature=endscreen

Causes of WW1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kfxrTD-kPps

Surviving in the Roman Army
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ja5szehc974

Dad's Army - Don't Tell Him Pike
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0V3SqxUomwk
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Roger Smith on May 14, 2012, 07:55:49 AM
(http://img2.moonbuggy.org/imgstore/i-fuck-sheep-when-im-not-busy-mortaring-the-base.jpg)

Classic
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: BT~Teacher on May 14, 2012, 08:44:14 AM
(http://i1038.photobucket.com/albums/a465/Ephraim_J_Witchwood/Motivator-GAU-8.jpg)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Roger Smith on May 14, 2012, 08:47:54 AM
I want to own an A-10, but they won't let me
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Moggy Cattermole on May 14, 2012, 08:48:04 AM
Needs a bay'net.
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Roger Smith on May 14, 2012, 08:49:22 AM
(https://s.deviantart.com/th/fs71/f/2010/155/8/e/Military_Fail_by_xshadowxknightx16.jpg)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: HundertzehnGustav on May 14, 2012, 08:50:51 AM
LOL @ Teacher...
+99
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Fly! on May 14, 2012, 09:47:31 AM
Why Did the Chicken cross the Road?

Coalition Provisional Authority: The fact that the Iraqi chicken crossed the road affirmatively demonstrates that decision-making authority has been transferred to the chicken well in advance of the scheduled June 30th transition of power. From now on the chicken is responsible for its own decisions.

Halliburton: We were asked to help the chicken cross the road. Given the inherent risk of road crossing and the rarity of chickens, this operation will only cost the US government $326,004.

Muqtada al-Sadr: The chicken was a tool of the evil Coalition and will be killed.

US Army Military Police: We were directed to prepare the chicken to cross the road. As part of these preparations, individual soldiers ran over the chicken repeatedly and then plucked the chicken. We deeply regret the occurrence of any chicken rights violations.

Peshmerga: The chicken crossed the road, and will continue to cross the road, to show its independence and to transport the weapons it needs to defend itself. However, in future, to avoid problems, the chicken will be called a duck, and will wear a plastic bill.

1st Cav: The chicken was not authorized to cross the road without displaying two forms of picture identification. Thus, the chicken was appropriately detained and searched in accordance with current SOP?s. We apologize for any embarrassment to the chicken. As a result of this unfortunate incident, the command has instituted a gender sensitivity training program and all future chicken searches will be conducted by female soldiers.

Al Jazeera: The chicken was forced to cross the road multiple times at gunpoint by a large group of occupation soldiers, according to eye-witnesses. The chicken was then fired upon intentionally, in yet another example of the abuse of innocent Iraqi chickens.

Blackwater: We cannot confirm any involvement in the chicken-road-crossing incident.

Translators: Chicken he cross street because bad she tangle regulation. Future chicken table against my request.

U.S. Marine Corps: The chicken is dead.

Navy: The chicken upon crossing the road was painted and lashed to the curb.
 
Kerry: "The chicken crossed the road before it did not"
 
Baghdad Bob: The chicken never crossed the road! He is safe in Baghdad, miles from the marauding vehicles of the infidel! THERE IS NO ROAD!
 
USAF: "As you can see here in the target video, the bomb was locked onto the chicken...and there it goes...the chicken is still moving...still moving...and unfortunately passed out of the parameters of the guidance system so that the bomb completely missed it and hit the weasel instead. Gotta admit thought, it's impressive footage..."
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: SAS~Storebror on May 14, 2012, 10:00:23 AM
That's what we did back in the days I've been in service:
(http://braunzonebw.blogsport.de/images/Bundeswehr.Saufen.jpg)

...and these are the results:
(http://www.merkur-online.de/bilder/2009/03/24/105346/216633400-tornado-bundeswehr.9.jpg)

(http://www.was-is-hier-eigentlich-los.de/wp-content/uploads/Bundeswehr-1.jpg)

Best regards - Mike
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: tomoose on May 14, 2012, 10:09:58 AM
The story of Uncle Bob

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.

Kathy said, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the pickup when we hit a bump in the road and all the eggs went flying and broke and made a mess"

"And what's the moral of the story?" asked the teacher.

"Don't put all your eggs in one basket!"

"Very good," said the teacher. "Now, Lucy?"

"Our family are farmers too. But we raise chickens for the meat market. We had a dozen eggs one time, but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks. And the moral to this story is, don't count your chickens until they're hatched."

"That was a fine story Lucy. Johnny do you have a story to share?"

"Yes, ma'am, my daddy told me this story about my uncle Bob. Uncle Bob was a Green Beret in Vietnam and his helicopter got hit. He had to crash land in enemy territory and all he had was a bottle of whiskey, a machine gun and a machete. He drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break and then he landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops. He killed seventy of them with the machine gun until he ran out of bullets, then he killed twenty more with the machete till the blade broke and then he killed the last ten with his bare hands."

"Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, " What kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?"

"Don't f*ck with Uncle Bob when he's been drinking."

Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: congo on May 14, 2012, 10:10:33 AM
Why Did the Chicken cross the Road?

Maybe he crossed the road to prove to the squirrels that it could be done successfully.
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: congo on May 14, 2012, 10:22:57 AM
A grizzled old jumpmaster is expaining to his student before his first freefall jump how it will be. When the green light comes on you will rise and move to the cargo ramp, when I pat you on the back you will exit the aircraft and count to 20 and pull your main, if nothing happens count to 20 again and pull your reserve and there will be a truck waiting for you on the ground. The plane drones up to the jump altitude and the light goes from red to green and the student rises and moves to the cargo ramp, the jumpmaster pats him on the back and he exits the aircraft and starts the count to 20 and then pulls the ripcord  nothing happens so he starts the count to 20 again and pulls the reserve, nothing happens and he thinks to himself, I'll bet the f**king truck aint going to be there either.
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: congo on May 14, 2012, 10:31:46 AM
A Marine and a Swabbie are standing next to each other in the head while using the urinals. The Swabbie finishes and buttons up his bellbottoms and leaves, thirty seconds later the Marine catches up with him and says, Hey didn't your mother ever teach you to wash your hands after pissing and the Swabbie looks at him and says no she taught me not to piss on my hands.
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Moggy Cattermole on May 14, 2012, 01:13:00 PM
An RAF regiment bloke dies and goes to heaven. When he gets to the main gates, St Peter says "thank fuck for that -- my relief's here, i'm dying for a piss"!

British Army Officers are given a list of recommended gentlemens outfitters to equip their wardrobe. Mainly reputable tailors who frequent Saville Row.
RAF Officers are given a £50 gift voucher to JJB Sport and TK Max.

How many pilots does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one to hold it still while the world revolves around him.
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Roger Smith on May 14, 2012, 01:23:30 PM
(http://www.motifake.com/image/demotivational-poster/1108/the-repeal-of-dont-ask-dont-tell-military-fail-pchasrunamok-demotivational-posters-1313074201.jpg)

(http://www.trollingmonkey.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/military-bomb-fail.gif)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Roger Smith on May 14, 2012, 01:27:58 PM
(http://www.militarylulz.com/image/militaryfunny/1107/-military-funny-1311358275.jpg)

(http://www.motifake.com/image/demotivational-poster/1107/your-air-force-career-f-16-airforce-fail-military-demotivational-posters-1311953831.jpg)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Roger Smith on May 14, 2012, 01:31:12 PM
(http://www.outofregs.com/postImages/1334516190.jpg)

(http://files.sharenator.com/fail_canadas_army_Army_Fails-s425x328-69902.jpg)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Joberg on May 14, 2012, 02:18:44 PM
Ha That picture of the man in the C-wire, oh man I know that feeling! Here's one that we used to have posted up the hallways from time to time...

God Bless the Infantry

In the beginning God created the Heavens and the Earth and the Infantry. And God looked upon the Infantry, saw that it was good, and said unto them, "Thou art my chosen children". Take thou dominion over the Earth; over the fish of the Sea, the birds of the Air, and all of the Key Terrain." And as a mark of His favour the Lord placed in the hands of the Infantry the sacred relics: the Apostolic Anti-Armour Weapon, the Catholic Claymore, and the Marian Machine Gun. Likewise gaveth the Lord unto the Infantry the Rucksack of Repentance, the Radio of Redemption, the Rifle of  Rectitude. Lastly, unto the Infantry, and most divine of all, the Lord gaveth the Holy Hand Grenade.
For the Infantry's sustenance the Lord declared "Four shall be thy food groups: Coffee, Tobacco, C-Rats, and Alcohol. Shun all other unclean food and drink."
 And the Infantry dwelt in the land therein. And time passed, and the Infantry cried out unto their God saying, "Lord, help us, for we are weary."
 And God smiled upon the Infantry, for they were blessed. Then the Lord took the fattest and laziest of the Infantry and set them upon beasts of burden. And these He called Cavalry. And as the Cavalry became fatter, lazier and heavier still they were known as Armour, or DAT's for short. And the Lord looked down upon the Armour and saw that it was mediocre.
 The Lord then said "Oh, well. Thou canst not win them all. Let them lead in case of landmines." To the DAT's the Lord said "Quiche shall be thy food, and bottled water thy drink. Touch not the sacred chow of the Infantry."
 And the Infantry and the Armour dwelt in the land therein.
 And time passed and the Infantry cried out again unto their Lord saying, "Lord help us, for we are weary."
 And God smiled again upon the Infantry, for they were his chosen.
  Then God took those of the Armour with butts like base-plates and breath like sulfur and tiny, tiny pee-pees and these He made Artillery. But God saw that the Artillery, too, was mediocre and said unto Himself, "Oh well, garbage in; garbage out."
 Unto the Artillery He said, "The big guns shall atone in part for thy diminutive other stature. Tryst thou not to hurt thyself."
 To the Infantry the Lord said, "When the night is darkest these shall light the way...more or less. When the approach is most open these shall, occasionally - with luck, confound the enemy's sight. When thou callest for fire support these shall - eventually - provide it with high explosive, cluster munitions and, best of all, nukes." Though the Lord cautioned the Infantry to never, never, never trust Tac-fire or any other electronic computer in the hands of the Artillery. And the Infantry, the Armour, and the Artillery dwelt in the land therein. Then the Artillery created the Air Defence Artillery; but quickly asked forgiveness.
  And time passed and the Infantry called out yet again unto their God, saying, "Lord help us, for we are weary."
  Again the Lord looked with favour upon the Infantry. He took those of the Armour, Artillery and Air Defence Artillery who most liked to play in the mud and these he made Combat Engineers, and those who dwelt in darkness and spoke in riddles and these he made Military Intelligence, and those with thieving hearts and these He made Quartermasters, and of those who neither sowed nor reaped and were most fond of hammering square pegs into round holes He made Adjutants General. Of those who liked to tinker with good equipment until it broke He made the Ordnance Corps. Of those whose penchant was poison He made Cooks. Of those who ran around in circles He made the Transportation Corps. Of the least articulate He made Signallers. Of the mindlessly doctrinaire and arrogant He - reluctantly - created Military Police and Inspectors General (though the Lord admitted, to Himself, that He was probably only providing employment opportunities to Satan's minions). Of those who dealt in controlled substances He made the Medics and of those whose minds had been destroyed by the same He made the Chemical Corps. Yea, the Lord of All filled up the MTOE.
  And the Infantry, and the others, dwelt in the land therein.
 Time passed, but yet, again, the Infantry cried out unto their God, saying, "Lord, help us, for we are weary.
  And the Heavens darkened, and the clouds gathered. The lightning's spake and the Infantry abased themselves before their God, for they were sore afraid.
  And the Lord spoke with anger, asking, "How canst thou yet be weary? Have I not made the Armour and the Artillery to support thee? Have I not made of the detritus of the earth Quartermasters and Adjutants and Signallers and Transporters and a host of others to assist thee? Verily, have I not even made Military Intelligence, although it were a contradiction in terms?"
   Humbly the Infantry abased themselves again before their God, crying, "Lord, it is of these that we are weary."
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: DaveP63 on May 14, 2012, 02:22:05 PM
(https://s.deviantart.com/th/fs71/f/2010/155/8/e/Military_Fail_by_xshadowxknightx16.jpg)

I had to cut a guy out of a situation like that once. It wasn't fun!  ;)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: mojojojo on May 14, 2012, 05:31:24 PM
http://militaryhumor.net/category/funny-military-pictures/page/1/
tons of good stuff here
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: mojojojo on May 14, 2012, 05:33:04 PM
(http://militaryhumor.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/military-humor-funny-joke-soldier-army-Camouflage-practice-1.jpg)
(http://militaryhumor.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/military-humor-funny-joke-soldier-army-Camouflage-Practice-2.jpg)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: SAS~Bombsaway on May 14, 2012, 07:26:15 PM
(http://i632.photobucket.com/albums/uu48/Bombsaway_67/6016748301-1.jpg)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: SAS~Bombsaway on May 14, 2012, 07:57:29 PM
(http://i632.photobucket.com/albums/uu48/Bombsaway_67/fGe_AircraftEnforced.jpg)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: SAS~Bombsaway on May 14, 2012, 08:00:05 PM
(http://i632.photobucket.com/albums/uu48/Bombsaway_67/Funny_Pictures_General_Bomb_Squad_Prank.jpg)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: The_Alaska_Man on May 14, 2012, 08:37:16 PM
Can it be a video?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yL-AMa8GfDs&feature=youtube_gdata_player
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Wildchild on May 14, 2012, 08:52:30 PM
Can it be a video?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yL-AMa8GfDs&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Yes ;)

(http://x48.xanga.com/e2cd01247703249670089/b22163862.jpg)

(http://funnywebjokes.files.wordpress.com/2010/04/000clothing-optional-military-nude-humor-demotivational-poster-1246983385.jpg)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Roger Smith on May 15, 2012, 01:06:06 PM
I consider this a joke, You'll never look at planes the same way again

http://the-airport.deviantart.com/gallery/26934487
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: mac1 on May 15, 2012, 01:36:46 PM
That A-10 pic is epic.
what staggers me is that it is appearently safer and cheaper to dismount their wings and ferry them around the globe rather than fly them to places with KC-135 support...

interesting.

That is interesting but think about the airframe time, which is less straining, one shuttle journey or a tanker and an a-10 racking up hours on their frames?
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Moggy Cattermole on May 15, 2012, 01:58:44 PM
That bloke has some severe issues..
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: HundertzehnGustav on May 15, 2012, 02:03:47 PM
Hmm...
US to Kabul, what 14 hours of flight...  what, 1 tanker can be sent along 4 A-10s? 2 A-10s? and carry spare parts along for the ride? A Cargo ship for Ammo and spare engines ?
(i suppose they can fly at similar speeds and that you do not send a lone A-10 to war...)

nothing i really have a clue about.
Guess the Airframe time is a valid point.
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: mojojojo on May 15, 2012, 02:34:21 PM
(http://militaryhumor.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/military-humor-funny-joke-us-air-force-aircraft-identification-chart.jpg)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Roger Smith on May 15, 2012, 03:27:14 PM
That bloke has some severe issues..
you mean that Anthro-Jet thing?
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: LuseKofte on May 15, 2012, 04:15:28 PM
There are no rules for airlifting fighters. It is logistics. If the cargo plane need to go and collect something, why not bring along a a10. Maintaince at factory needed not airworthy. Many reasons. They are not airlifting a squadron anywhere. This is logistic thinking.
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Roger Smith on May 15, 2012, 06:21:17 PM
Prepare, as I change the way you look at plane ever again (Don't so I didn't warn you)


http://wsache007.deviantart.com/art/Sexy-F18-Blue-Angel-complete-293915765?q=gallery%3Athe-airport%2F26934487&qo=35

http://wsache007.deviantart.com/art/A-new-means-of-flight-Complete-293525023?q=gallery%3Athe-airport%2F26934487&qo=39
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Wildchild on May 15, 2012, 07:06:44 PM
Prepare, as I change the way you look at plane ever again (Don't so I didn't warn you)


http://wsache007.deviantart.com/art/Sexy-F18-Blue-Angel-complete-293915765?q=gallery%3Athe-airport%2F26934487&qo=35

http://wsache007.deviantart.com/art/A-new-means-of-flight-Complete-293525023?q=gallery%3Athe-airport%2F26934487&qo=39

I said Military jokes, not airplane porn.  :-\
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: gioeco on May 15, 2012, 07:25:40 PM
I said Military jokes, not airplane porn.  :-\



Exactly what I thought when I first opened the links! 
I guess now-a-days everything is converted into something perverted  :o
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Roger Smith on May 15, 2012, 07:30:21 PM

Exactly what I thought when I first opened the links! 
I guess now-a-days everything is converted into something perverted  :o




LOL Welcome to the internet!

(http://images.cheezburger.com/completestore/2010/1/10/129076505632333949.jpg)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Wildchild on May 15, 2012, 07:56:12 PM
 :D
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Roger Smith on May 16, 2012, 12:50:14 PM
(http://pwnage.ro/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/experience.jpg)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: RedSpade on May 16, 2012, 01:09:42 PM
Oh my gawd!  I'm surprised that old gentleman can even stand with all that metal on his chest!  LOL. 

Thank you for your service, old vet.  I meant no disrespect!
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: tomoose on May 16, 2012, 01:11:17 PM
(http://boourns.cjb.net/pics/Ww2rts.gif)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Wildchild on May 16, 2012, 07:33:10 PM
(http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_uif459T1Vbo/SXDidRKnaiI/AAAAAAAAASk/m-u1Pk_fsqA/s400/Military+humor+3.bmp)

(http://www.blackfive.net/photos/uncategorized/2007/06/18/20070613agenda_2.jpg)

(http://www.strategypage.com/gallery/images/firepower.jpg)

(http://www.strategypage.com/gallery/images/seriously.jpg)

(http://www.strategypage.com/gallery/images/talent-bikini-flight-school.jpg)

(http://0.tqn.com/d/politicalhumor/1/0/w/7/3/political-pictures-casual-friday.jpg)

Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: gioeco on May 17, 2012, 09:58:42 AM
Air Force Budget Cuts
(http://militaryhumor.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/military-humor-funny-joke-air-force-budget-cuts-airplane-pilot.jpg)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: jdo3 on May 17, 2012, 10:46:07 AM
A good true story (as I can remember to retell it...)

A Navy SEAL was going through the Army jump school. Of course, the instructors didn't like the fact that he was navy, and tried to be hard on him. This didn't work because he'd already been through BUD/S. Anyway, on his last jump, two of his buddies posed as instructors and came to jump with him. The airplane took off, the students prepared to jump. They stood up, hooked up, and started filing out. When his first friend got to the door, rather than crouch and prepare to go out, he turned, looked at the jumpmaster, and thumbed his nose at him. Before the jumpmaster could react, he was out the door. But that was just the distraction. The second friend came up, grabbed the jumpmasters black hat (their trademark), and jumped. Furious, the jumpmaster looked out the door and yelled, "NAVY!!! COME BACK WITH MY **** HAT!!!!!!

They still have that hat today.
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Roger Smith on May 17, 2012, 12:28:11 PM
Not really humor But I thought I should share




(https://s.deviantart.com/th/fs70/PRE/i/2012/091/5/d/propellapalooza_part_one_by_atomikamikaze-d4uoymz.png)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Wildchild on May 17, 2012, 07:50:44 PM
Thats actually a little freaky...
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: tomoose on May 18, 2012, 10:40:29 AM
and a bit creepy, LOL.
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Roger Smith on May 18, 2012, 11:55:08 AM
^^ the jokes on you guys!
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Dudok22 on May 19, 2012, 03:55:16 AM
(http://i394.photobucket.com/albums/pp29/Dudok22/WWIIjokeanyoneGETITCuztheBARisthe_bc67fa_3198019.jpg)
 ;)

and this might be offensive: http://i.imgur.com/LwEHR.jpg
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: BT~Teacher on May 19, 2012, 07:06:54 AM
(http://i1097.photobucket.com/albums/g344/Slomamba/1337345321458.jpg)

(http://i1097.photobucket.com/albums/g344/Slomamba/1337343537100.jpg)

(http://i1097.photobucket.com/albums/g344/Slomamba/1337344043565.jpg)

(http://i1097.photobucket.com/albums/g344/Slomamba/1337344201855.png)

(http://i1097.photobucket.com/albums/g344/Slomamba/1337344776756.jpg)

(http://i1097.photobucket.com/albums/g344/Slomamba/1337345282733.jpg)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: mojojojo on May 19, 2012, 08:42:54 AM
(http://militaryhumor.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/military-humor-funny-joke-infantry-problem-solving-gun.jpg)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: mojojojo on May 19, 2012, 08:54:33 AM
(http://militaryhumor.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/military-humor-funny-joke-ship-aircraft-carrier-Navy-avation-aircraft-parking.jpg)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: mojojojo on May 19, 2012, 08:56:35 AM
LET ME IN!!!!! this isnt funny guys!
(http://militaryhumor.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/military-humor-funny-joke-navy-submarines-Come-on-guys-let-me-in-aint-funny.jpg)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: mojojojo on May 19, 2012, 08:59:16 AM
eddieprophet will appreciate this one:
(http://militaryhumor.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/military-humor-funny-joke-air-force-dont-eat-mexican-food-before-flying-jet-pilot.jpg)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: mojojojo on May 19, 2012, 09:11:28 AM
(http://militaryhumor.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/military-humor-funny-joke-airforce-next-generation-stealth-fighter.jpg)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: mojojojo on May 19, 2012, 09:12:26 AM
(http://militaryhumor.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/military-humor-funny-joke-soldier-army-artillery-gun-the-moral-high-ground.jpg)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: gioeco on May 19, 2012, 09:14:04 AM
(http://militaryhumor.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/military-humor-funny-joke-ship-aircraft-carrier-Navy-avation-aircraft-parking.jpg)



I have this exact problem in IL2  :)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: mojojojo on May 19, 2012, 09:14:56 AM
(http://militaryhumor.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/military-humor-funny-joke-air-force-aircraft-budget-cuts-quit-your-bitching-he-ll-be-just-fine.jpg)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Dudok22 on May 19, 2012, 09:54:48 AM
Manpod Mk II:
(http://www.timheinrichs.com/images/military/military26.jpg)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: mojojojo on May 19, 2012, 10:00:11 AM
lol
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: ANDYTOTHED on May 19, 2012, 10:10:20 AM
(http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2012/05/18/article-0-132850E6000005DC-69_634x467.jpg)

BATh TIME BITChEZZ
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: mojojojo on May 19, 2012, 10:46:14 AM
(http://militaryhumor.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/military-humor-funny-joke-soldier-gun-army-artillery-Problem-Solving.jpg)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: pdittrich on May 25, 2012, 09:43:04 AM
(http://www.militarylulz.com/image/militaryfunny/1107/-military-funny-1311358275.jpg)
it'd probably be animal cruelty, but there's an easy solution for your problem ;) batteries, apu, fuel flow, magnetos, ignition. or something to that order. plus if it doesn't work, there'll be angry insects all over the place, but you're moving away at reasonable speed...

by the way moving, that volkswagen looks like it starred in a werner movie ("volles rohr", was it?).

now for "my" joke (actually isn't mine, seen it somewhere on here but not in this topic):

the scottish RAF pilot said:
there were fokkers above me, fokkers below me. fokkers ahead, and fokkers behind me.
and those fokkers were flying messerschmidts...
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: SAS~Riken on May 27, 2012, 04:11:50 PM
I might as well jump in on this fun... :D

(http://savingprivatejeongki.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/funny-pictures-military.jpg)(http://funnymilitarypictures.imgs4fun.com/images/08.jpg)(http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-H5U4jsyPVZY/TuYoTD9FxBI/AAAAAAAB8S8/GtljqxJ-sW8/s1600/Funny+Military+Pictures+%2528166%2529.jpg)(http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_xRFNBWST25E/SbB-9AYOr1I/AAAAAAAADQs/V-3NeORqxbM/s400/camo+coca-cola+truck.jpg)(http://www.demotivationalposters.org/image/demotivational-poster/small/1102/navy-working-uniform-nwu-military-funny-demotivational-posters-1296782040.jpg)(http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-GSVanEFf8bg/TuYa_IjRPmI/AAAAAAAB8Js/4BXToIShUc0/s1600/Funny+Military+Pictures+%252891%2529.jpg)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: mojojojo on May 28, 2012, 05:53:17 AM
good ones!
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Duggy on May 30, 2012, 06:25:30 PM
(http://i262.photobucket.com/albums/ii120/Duggy009/idiotsB24.jpg)
Regards Duggy
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: tooslow on May 30, 2012, 09:37:02 PM
Here are a few ...

(http://i45.tinypic.com/1196sl2.jpg)

(http://i46.tinypic.com/4kzq0m.jpg)

(http://i45.tinypic.com/1fb6fs.jpg)

(http://i50.tinypic.com/2ah8wub.jpg)

The last one isn't a joke, but I just had to include it ...

(http://i47.tinypic.com/sfgwhv.jpg)



Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Roger Smith on May 31, 2012, 02:28:44 PM
oops

(http://www.aviationexplorer.com/Airline_Mishap_Pictures/Aircraft_Mishap_Photos_Crash_Pics_BS.jpg)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: The_Alaska_Man on May 31, 2012, 02:49:40 PM
gosh i love that mi-24 pic
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: ANDYTOTHED on June 02, 2012, 12:48:27 PM
(http://verydemotivational.files.wordpress.com/2010/07/demotivational-posters-screw-you-guys.jpg)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: mojojojo on June 02, 2012, 12:49:22 PM
lol
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Joberg on June 02, 2012, 01:38:20 PM
Reminds me of a funny incident I read about from the Battle of Britain. A German bomber was strafed by a British plane and started to go down. A rear gunner jumped out and opened his chute and almost immediately saw the smoking plane recover from its descent and fly back to France...whoops...
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Roger Smith on June 03, 2012, 02:47:45 AM
During the Gulf War, the AGM-78 HARM was involved in a friendly fire incident when the pilot of an F-4G Wild Weasel escorting a B-52 mistook the latter's tail gun radar for an Iraqi AAA site. (This was after the tail gunner of the B-52 had targeted the F-4G, mistaking it for an Iraqi MiG). The pilot launched the missile and then saw that the target was the B-52, which was hit. It survived with shrapnel damage to the tail and no casualties. The B-52 was subsequently renamed In HARM's Way.
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Kilo on June 10, 2012, 07:56:32 AM
Begginer pilot rules:
1. Take off is optional. Landing is mandatory.
2. If you push the stick, the houses become bigger. If you pull the stick, they become smaller, just if you don't continously pull it until they become bigger again
3. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is dangerous.
4. Is better to be on the ground and want to be in the air, than being up there, and want to be on the ground.
5. The only case when you have too much fuel, is when you're in fire.
6. The propellor is just a big fan built to cool down the pilot. When it stops, you can see the pilot sweating
7.When you're in trobule (don't know what to do) keep the altitude, nobody crashed into the sky.
8. A good landing is when you can walk on your own feet after it. A excellent one is that when the aircraft can be used again.
9. Learn from other's mistakes. You won't live to make them all.
10. You can fiind out if you landed upside down if you have to use maximum throttle to get to the hangar.
11. Never let the plane to get you to a place where you never been 5 minutes earlier.
12. The probability of survival is reverse proportionally to the angle of the landing approach. The bigger the angle of approach, the smaller the chance of survival.
13. Stay out of the clouds. The silver line in the front might be a plane going in the opposite direction. The mountains also use to hide in the clouds.
14. Try to keep the ''='' sign between the number of landings and the number of takeoffs.
15. As a begginer you begin hith a bag full with luck and a exeperience empty bag. The trick is to fill the one with experience before you empty the bag of luck.
16. Choppers can't fly. They're so ugly that the earth is rejecting them.
17. If everything you can see trough the cockpit is the rotating earth and everything you hear is the screams of the passengers, means that not everything is how it should.
18. In the continuous fight between aluminium objects that fly at speeds of hundreds of Km/h and the earth that flyes at 0Km/h, the earth still must be beaten.
19. Correct thinking comes from experience. Sadly, the experience comes from wrong thinking.
20. The gravitational force isn't just a good ideea, it's a law. And isn't just about the apples.

(sorry for my english)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: mojojojo on June 10, 2012, 08:58:51 AM
good ones!
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Kazegami on June 10, 2012, 09:57:45 AM
Haha, great rules! And your English is fine! ;D
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: pdittrich on June 12, 2012, 11:52:08 AM
Just found this one (I think we had this pic before but the caption is new):
(http://punditkitchen.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/political-pictures-political-pictures-does-to-jets-what-it-does-to-teeth.jpg)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: pdittrich on June 12, 2012, 12:14:04 PM
If you know to speak some german, this has been around for some time
Actually it's whole threads in different places - militaryphotos.net, memebase, etc...
(http://i672.photobucket.com/albums/vv83/ucsbeyer/its-a-flammenwerfer-it-werfs-flammen.jpg)
(http://i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/201/629/1321560492382.jpg)
(http://oi39.tinypic.com/2196wxk.jpg)
Ironically, a tank's rear armor usually is the weakest spot.

(http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/182/324/panzerwerfer.jpg)
"Whoa, Doc, that's heavy."
Well, this is even heavier:
(http://i43.tinypic.com/30m9ueu.jpg)

Now as this is an aviation (sim) site, for something that flies:
(http://i1090.photobucket.com/albums/i376/ubermensche/focke-wulf.jpg)
And our worst adversary:
(http://i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/201/640/1321560341671.jpg)
Replace "sh!t" with "us".
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: CWMV on June 13, 2012, 08:37:57 AM
Now that's funny stuff!
"It orgels Stalin."
  :D
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Dark Apostle on June 13, 2012, 08:25:53 PM
Just bout lost my bowl of Pasta Bake (cheers Bombs) to the Schwere Gustav one, frackin classic.
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Roger Smith on June 23, 2012, 03:40:05 PM
(http://i1232.photobucket.com/albums/ff363/RadPig94/581252_255384437903290_561740443_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: RedSpade on June 23, 2012, 05:48:02 PM
Lol.  I'm glad I wasn't eating soap while reading your last post SWP, I would have spit it out all over my screen.  That one is a keeper.
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Roger Smith on June 23, 2012, 06:14:34 PM
Lol.  I'm glad I wasn't eating soap while reading your last post SWP, I would have spit it out all over my screen.  That one is a keeper.

why would you eat soap? HAHA
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: RedSpade on June 24, 2012, 07:03:59 AM
LOL,Obviously I can not type..... ;D  that should have been soup!   Brother.  Maybe I need to clean my glasses.   :)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: EIiteLEGEND on June 25, 2012, 12:36:19 PM
(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/d/d5/F-4_parts_distribution.jpg/344px-F-4_parts_distribution.jpg)

 :D
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: mojojojo on June 25, 2012, 02:22:08 PM
good one!
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Kazegami on June 25, 2012, 03:32:39 PM
Seriously Mo, you don't have to say "good one" or "nice" or "cool" after every joke or screenshot! ;D
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: mojojojo on June 25, 2012, 05:32:29 PM
maybe i want to though!
;D
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Kazegami on June 25, 2012, 08:36:33 PM
good one!
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Roger Smith on June 25, 2012, 08:49:54 PM
nice




also

(http://www.ifunnyhome.com/uploads/Meanwhile%20In%20Russia.jpg)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Kilo on June 28, 2012, 01:33:08 AM
Run Mr. Taliban.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZhE1lVjsznw&feature=related

Listen and laugh.


Marines singing the taliban song (true marines joke):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&v=qFJh0OauWFo&NR=1
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: March_Hare009 on July 08, 2012, 09:21:17 AM
The Five Things You Never Want To Hear In The Army:

A private E-2 that says: "Well, when I was in basic . . . "

A second lieutenant that says: "Well, in my experience . . ."

A platoon sergeant that syas: "Don't worry, I've got a plan."

A company CO that says: "You know, I've been thinking . . ."

And a warrant officer that says: "Hey guys! Watch this!"
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Roger Smith on July 08, 2012, 11:32:26 AM
The Five Things You Never Want To Hear In The Army:

A private E-2 that says: "Well, when I was in basic . . . "

A second lieutenant that says: "Well, in my experience . . ."

A platoon sergeant that syas: "Don't worry, I've got a plan."

A company CO that says: "You know, I've been thinking . . ."

And a warrant officer that says: "Hey guys! Watch this!"

Funn I posted that on facebook a few days ago in the form of a picture

(https://sphotos.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/603411_2958182493823_818144380_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Moggy Cattermole on July 08, 2012, 12:29:45 PM
http://skippyslist.com/list/

Hero.
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Joberg on July 08, 2012, 03:40:36 PM
Remember having skippy's list posted up behind the cq desk for awhile, good times
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Roger Smith on July 19, 2012, 01:29:04 PM
(https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/555440_2927479446266_1828333481_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Moggy Cattermole on July 19, 2012, 05:07:27 PM
Who is this Kony chappie, then?
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Roger Smith on July 19, 2012, 06:02:16 PM
Who is this Kony chappie, then?

Joseph Rao Kony is the head of the Lord's Resistance Army, a Ugandan guerrilla group. While initially enjoying strong public support, the LRA allegedly turned on its own supporters, supposedly to "purify" the Acholi people and turn Uganda into a theocracy. Kony has been accused by government entities of ordering the abduction of children to become child-sex slaves and child soldiers.
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Moggy Cattermole on July 20, 2012, 10:55:10 AM
Consider yourself wah'd, sir.

http://www.arrse.co.uk/wiki/Wah%27d
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Roger Smith on July 20, 2012, 01:54:43 PM
Consider yourself wah'd, sir.

http://www.arrse.co.uk/wiki/Wah%27d

is that good? :P
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Moggy Cattermole on July 20, 2012, 03:55:05 PM
Yarp.   :P

http://www.arrse.co.uk/wiki/Yarp
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: DaveP63 on July 29, 2012, 04:25:19 PM
http://skippyslist.com/list/

Hero.

I still laugh my ass off every time I read that.
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Kilo on August 13, 2012, 05:33:33 AM
(http://www.allmilitary.com/i/Image/Military%20Humor_USS_Clinton.jpg)
You should have choose the air start.

(http://www.strategypage.com/gallery/images/apache_speed_trap.jpg)

(http://www.strategypage.com/gallery/images/nancies.jpg)

(http://picvault.org/wp-content/plugins/hot-linked-image-cacher/upload/img.funtasticus.com/2007/jan8/armyjokes03032008/armyspajokes002.jpg)
Missiles Ready

(http://picvault.org/wp-content/plugins/hot-linked-image-cacher/upload/img.funtasticus.com/2007/jan8/armyjokes03032008/armyspajokes003.jpg)
The armored vehicle of the future.

(http://www.madmuckers.com/Public/Images/Image.ashx?ImageID=c015b7ee-dad2-41d6-a2ca-d5e6fff39e2c)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Joberg on August 13, 2012, 09:24:14 AM
Oh boy, I remember how much trouble I got in for damaging a pickup truck, I would hate to have to explain what happened to that Abrams in the picture!
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Screwball on August 15, 2012, 05:42:49 PM
(http://a4.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/292383_10150757984275074_7982779_n.jpg)

;)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Panzerpreussen on August 16, 2012, 11:02:51 AM
Even hitler had a sense of humor  ???  :P

http://youtu.be/SjD9v9H2UrU
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: BravoFxTrt on August 17, 2012, 02:03:41 PM
:-) he sure did ;D   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08e9k-c91E8&feature=related
Play the song but watch HillbillyHitler
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: jdo3 on August 20, 2012, 10:26:50 AM
http://www.murphys-laws.com/murphy/murphy-war.html
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Joberg on August 20, 2012, 11:28:03 AM
Oh can't believe I had forgot about this until that last post! It was always my favorite part of Army Times!
http://www.pvtmurphy.com/
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: KG3_V on August 28, 2012, 03:19:40 PM
WW2 French Rifle for sale. Only dropped 2 times


My grandfather always said : Italian Tanks have 5 gears..........1 foward and 4 backwards.....
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: KG3_V on August 28, 2012, 03:57:38 PM
Favourite "cool story bro" picture on smartphone massages

(http://www.lowbird.com/data/images/2011/01/1294149542441-1.jpg)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: SAS~Bombsaway on September 03, 2012, 03:42:29 PM
(http://s19.postimage.org/qylt8w6xv/c37e37a2_f008_40af_a528_0a0a9350751e.jpg) (http://postimage.org/)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: SAS~Bombsaway on September 03, 2012, 03:44:11 PM
(http://s19.postimage.org/7i13mdbtv/untitled002.jpg) (http://postimage.org/)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: SAS~Riken on September 03, 2012, 04:11:48 PM
(http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_4OYGjUrdllo/SnSEZSF_brI/AAAAAAAAZ5g/2ybuphZTzpQ/s400/food_groups.JPG)  (http://4.cdn.tapcdn.com/images/thumbs/taps/2012/07/daily-funny-military-photos-welcome-to-military-lulz-41cefe39-sz500x400-animate.jpg)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: pdittrich on September 06, 2012, 01:02:53 PM
(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/8/29/ad4as3pLj02yqx8_exSkGw2.jpg)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Kilo on September 06, 2012, 01:08:02 PM
Best landing EVER. How did he get it there without blowing up!?

(http://www.swapmeetdave.com/Humor/Tankad.gif)
(http://militaryhumor.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/military-humor-funny-joke-air-force-close-enough-eurofighter-pilot.jpg)
(http://www.sas1946.com/images/imageshit/dead/dead.gif)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: ANDYTOTHED on September 07, 2012, 10:12:55 AM
Is that typhoon one real? It looks kind of shopped.
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Kilo on September 09, 2012, 06:20:23 AM
Our army has the sense of humor:

''We'll drop a bomb with a mushroom inside''
Knoking at the door with the barrel of the cannon.
Going from home to home to ask where's the enemy.
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Kilo on September 10, 2012, 02:22:17 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z6KNjZmRLrY (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z6KNjZmRLrY)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Wildchild on September 10, 2012, 04:01:15 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5vBDaOeGiAs

"Oh wow! How did you get your Purple Heart?"
 
? "Oh, well my friends threw a 50 gallon oil drum at my head."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AD551IUzbwk&feature=related

2:00-2:50
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Moggy Cattermole on September 10, 2012, 05:20:24 PM
Speaking of throwing things at people's heads, see this - all 2 seconds of glory.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Co7In5891Bs

What you have just viewed is a British Soldier, of the 6th Airborne Division at Arnhem. Out of ammunition. Throwing a brick at a German soldier.
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: ANDYTOTHED on September 10, 2012, 06:04:07 PM
I love how even though he has a rifle he cowers off.
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: CWMV on September 10, 2012, 09:11:58 PM
In that situation the 98K  would have been worse than useless,
I would have done the same thing, and called in a fire mission on the tommies.
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Moggy Cattermole on September 11, 2012, 02:48:03 AM
Note the bloke fires his weapon as he gets bricked though. I mean, bloody hell, hiding behind a wall to throw a brick at someone with a firearm... That takes balls. Great big brass balls and no doubt polished to the Nth degree.
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: CWMV on September 11, 2012, 09:17:26 AM
You say balls, I say terrible desperation!
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Moggy Cattermole on September 11, 2012, 03:28:50 PM
I think deciding, in a desperate situation where you have no ammo and supplies, cut off and surrounded by an armed and fed up enemy, that throwing a brick at them rather than running away or surrendering is the right course of action is indicative of some considerable nads right there.
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: ANDYTOTHED on September 11, 2012, 04:05:04 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=66A-7cbwyQc (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=66A-7cbwyQc)
MTV cribs Helmand style...
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Wildchild on September 11, 2012, 08:05:56 PM
(http://themetapicture.com/media/funny-Neil-Armstrong-neighbor-story.jpg)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Joberg on September 11, 2012, 10:30:35 PM
Heh, Those camera guys sure are a lotta help huh?
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: ANDYTOTHED on September 12, 2012, 12:32:46 AM
wrong bb code, sorry.
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Wildchild on September 12, 2012, 02:24:28 PM
Fixed my post too, it didnt show up for some reason
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Kilo on September 18, 2012, 03:11:42 AM
Shall we buy an F-16?
(http://www.pozeface.com/wp-content/uploads/Screen-Shot-2012-07-13-at-3.40.32-PM-550x322.jpeg)
(http://www.pozeface.com/wp-content/uploads/Avion-de-vanatoare_1017-550x382.jpeg)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: SAS~Bombsaway on September 18, 2012, 05:38:09 AM
Military cut backs are a bitch aint they? :) Its good on fuel though.
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: SAS~Bombsaway on September 18, 2012, 04:36:30 PM
(http://s19.postimage.org/bz51ch6hv/218115_203834463080050_1499053561_n.jpg) (http://postimage.org/)

(http://s19.postimage.org/f79ipisrn/320436_205636872899809_230678380_n.jpg) (http://postimage.org/)

(http://s19.postimage.org/c1owzba5f/406417_281407021958895_2083859935_n.jpg) (http://postimage.org/)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Col. King on September 18, 2012, 08:18:13 PM
(http://sphotos-g.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/430600_169609333158876_770232119_n.jpg)
With the budget cuts, the USAF Training Command is looking for new solutions to maintain up-to-date the quality of its pilots training program. The very expensive simulators used until now will be gradually substituted by cheaper but still very effective new models. In the picture two of the new MacDonnell-Douglas T-107 Mk.II Simulators being tested by USAF flying Instructors before official acceptance.

 :P
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Joberg on September 19, 2012, 12:12:58 AM
wasn't that a mark-19 or is that one of those inter-service naming differences
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Col. King on September 19, 2012, 04:57:00 AM
Yep.. The Mark 19 is the variant for the Marines... It is featuring VSTOL capabilities... ;)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Kilo on September 19, 2012, 12:28:47 PM
Just got my driving license

(http://www.pozeface.com/wp-content/uploads/void0-1110-550x415.jpeg)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Kilo on September 20, 2012, 03:27:36 AM
The US vs Russia
(http://www.pozeface.com/wp-content/uploads/2319-550x399.jpeg)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: SAS~Bombsaway on September 26, 2012, 06:44:12 AM
Ok now this is how all wars should be fought.....

(http://s19.postimage.org/y3n76tkmb/c7b99b070f6c241b1c0f6a70670024e2.jpg) (http://postimage.org/)

http://news.yahoo.com/dispute-over-islands-japan-trades-water-cannon-fire-221027982.html

Next we arm all the worlds soldiers with pillows and let them have at it. :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n09Bzn7U0ao&feature=player_embedded
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Moggy Cattermole on September 26, 2012, 07:28:01 AM
Didn't the royal navy shoot potatoes at Icelandic vessels during the cod war in a similar vein?
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: RedSpade on September 26, 2012, 06:51:54 PM
LOL!!! Moggy, I love this new avatar.  8)    I think it is a keeper.
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: CWMV on September 26, 2012, 09:03:47 PM
I saw Moggy's new avatar and thought its mine (Professor Elemental) + 50 years...
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: CWMV on September 26, 2012, 09:11:40 PM
Ok now this is how all wars should be fought.....


 ???
heck no!
A day without bloodshed is like a day without sunshine!
BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD MAKES THE GREEN GRASS GROW DRILL SERGEANT!!!

Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: SAS~Bombsaway on September 27, 2012, 07:43:05 AM
CW, I dont know whats in that tea cup your holding or that pipe in your mouth but I think you need a little less. :)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Moggy Cattermole on September 27, 2012, 08:51:49 AM
What is your purpose?! Kill, kill, kill!

Then queueing in two lanes, weapons at high port, marching on the spot chanting kill, kill, kill, kill over and over.. Then,  you're at the front, you charge arms, scream AN GUAAARD! And run off to send a jump suit stuffed with straw to its maker.

Wonderful stuff, though I feel this avatar would never stoop to using a bayonet, but would probably be quite content shooting foreigners with a weapon more suited to taking out Bengal tigers...
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: SAS~Bombsaway on October 25, 2012, 11:00:17 AM
(http://s19.postimage.org/v652jpggz/dedication_funny_motivational_poster.jpg) (http://postimage.org/)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: SAS~GJE52 on October 25, 2012, 12:03:53 PM
I hate to think what would be the outcome if the enemy sniper gets his shot off first  :o

G;
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: BravoFxTrt on October 26, 2012, 09:02:30 PM
What the hell is he bitching about now?
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: mojojojo on October 28, 2012, 08:05:17 AM
Ok now this is how all wars should be fought.....


 ???
heck no!
A day without bloodshed is like a day without sunshine!
BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD MAKES THE GREEN GRASS GROW DRILL SERGEANT!!!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=lNZiMVd_bu8 :D
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: FroggyCanuck on November 07, 2012, 12:38:01 PM
Not too offensive...  :D an old one some of you may have seen and one of my favourites.


Pierre the French Fighter pilot.
Pierre, a brave French fighter pilot, takes his girlfriend, Marie, out for a pleasant little picnic by the River Seine . It's a beautiful day and love is in the air.

Marie leans over to Pierre and says, ' Pierre , kiss me!'

Pierre grabs a bottle of Merlot and splashes it on Marie's lips.

'What are you doing, Pierre ?' says the startled Marie.

'I am Pierre, the French fighter pilot! When I have red meat, I have red wine!'

She smiles and they start kissing.

Things began to heat up a little and Marie says, ' Pierre , kiss me lower.'

Our hero tears her blouse open, grabs a bottle of Chardonnay and pours it on her breasts.

' Pierre ! What are you doing now?' asks the bewildered Marie.

'I am Pierre, the French fighter pilot! When I have white meat, I have white wine!'

She giggles and they resume their passionate interlude and things really steam up.

Marie leans close to his ear and whispers, ' Pierre , kiss me much lower!

'Pierre rips off her underwear, grabs a bottle of Cognac and pours it in her lap.

He then strikes a match and lights the cognac on fire.

Marie shrieks and dives into the River Seine.Standing waist deep, Marie throws her arms into the air and screams furiously, ' PIERRE , WHAT #@ DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?'

Our 'hero' stands and says defiantly, 'I am Pierre, the French fighter pilot! If I go down, I go down in flames!'
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Kilo on November 15, 2012, 01:40:16 AM
Crashed Groundpounder (Skinpounder 8)):
(http://www.pozeface.com/wp-content/uploads/shit_happens_17-550x440.jpeg)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: VF111Sundowner on November 20, 2012, 10:28:00 AM
Ok I have two but they are kinda long.

My once took my Gandfather to school to tell my class about his flying expliots in the Battle of Britain.
Now being a Scott he had a heavy accent as he began to tell my freinds about this one day's dogfight.

"Der Ah was, flying along when O'Cap shouted "Bandits tew O'clock low!" Now we pushed our spits nose down inta them fokkers. One flew across me nose and Ah gave him a good squirt of meh guns and that fokker went down in flames. Then meh plane shuddard as this other fokker riddled meh full ah holes. I cranked my Spit over on a wing and slid behind that fokker ana blasted him!"

At this point my teacher interuppted and explained to the class that a Fokker is a type of airplane.

And My grandfather replied "Aye lassy but these fokkers were flying Messerschmitts!!"

And #2

Poland: Germany is well into their invasion.
A green soldier is next inline to recive his weapon to fight when the supply Officer delcleares that there are no more rifles.
"Our Supply lines have been cut by the Hun! So the rest of you are going to the front as is."

The green soldier asks "What the hell are we supposed to fight with?" While others verbally agree.
The supply officer replies" Look don't worry American intelligence has told us that the common German soldier is uneducated and will belive anything. All you have to do is point you finger at them like this" The offcer make a gun gresture with his hand " And shout BANG! and they will fall down dead! Honest."

Grumbles of disbelief spread through the group, but alas there are no other weapons, so to the front they go.
The green soldier was hunkered down in a fox hole when a German trooper appeared at the rim shouting at him. Startled he pointed his finger and yelled "BANG!"

The german dropped his rifle clutched his chest and fell over...Dead.  The Green looked at his finger "Holy crap! it works!" he thought.
He turned and BANG BANG two more fell, in the distacne he saw three more across the field, thinking a pistol wont do, he rasied his arms like a rifle and Yelled "KA-POW KA-POW" An two of the three fell.
The third continued to advance running straight for him. Gettting closer by the second.
Green fired again KA-POW, KA-POW but this time nothing.
Again KA-POW KA-POW still nothing, the German was closer still, Green panicked BANG BANG BANG BANG reverting to his pistol finger with the same futile results.
The Huge German ran him down trampling him into the mud, and just before he lost consciousness he heard the German muttering to himself.
PANZER!
PANZER!
PANZER!
panzer!
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Ghost129er on November 20, 2012, 10:47:39 AM
Ok I have two but they are kinda long.

My once took my Gandfather to school to tell my class about his flying expliots in the Battle of Britain.
Now being a Scott he had a heavy accent as he began to tell my freinds about this one day's dogfight.

"Der Ah was, flying along when O'Cap shouted "Bandits tew O'clock low!" Now we pushed our spits nose down inta them fokkers. One flew across me nose and Ah gave him a good squirt of meh guns and that fokker went down in flames. Then meh plane shuddard as this other fokker riddled meh full ah holes. I cranked my Spit over on a wing and slid behind that fokker ana blasted him!"

At this point my teacher interuppted and explained to the class that a Fokker is a type of airplane.

And My grandfather replied "Aye lassy but these fokkers were flying Messerschmitts!!"

And #2

Poland: Germany is well into their invasion.
A green soldier is next inline to recive his weapon to fight when the supply Officer delcleares that there are no more rifles.
"Our Supply lines have been cut by the Hun! So the rest of you are going to the front as is."

The green soldier asks "What the hell are we supposed to fight with?" While others verbally agree.
The supply officer replies" Look don't worry American intelligence has told us that the common German soldier is uneducated and will belive anything. All you have to do is point you finger at them like this" The offcer make a gun gresture with his hand " And shout BANG! and they will fall down dead! Honest."

Grumbles of disbelief spread through the group, but alas there are no other weapons, so to the front they go.
The green soldier was hunkered down in a fox hole when a German trooper appeared at the rim shouting at him. Startled he pointed his finger and yelled "BANG!"

The german dropped his rifle clutched his chest and fell over...Dead.  The Green looked at his finger "Holy crap! it works!" he thought.
He turned and BANG BANG two more fell, in the distacne he saw three more across the field, thinking a pistol wont do, he rasied his arms like a rifle and Yelled "KA-POW KA-POW" An two of the three fell.
The third continued to advance running straight for him. Gettting closer by the second.
Green fired again KA-POW, KA-POW but this time nothing.
Again KA-POW KA-POW still nothing, the German was closer still, Green panicked BANG BANG BANG BANG reverting to his pistol finger with the same futile results.
The Huge German ran him down trampling him into the mud, and just before he lost consciousness he heard the German muttering to himself.
PANZER!
PANZER!
PANZER!
panzer!

Those were awesome! B)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: RedSpade on November 27, 2012, 08:17:56 PM
(http://www.sas1946.com/images/imageshit/img805/2689/suprisesuprise.jpg)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: BravoFxTrt on November 30, 2012, 12:06:16 PM
lol. And the other 62 are packed with plenty of explosive for them.
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: SAS~Bombsaway on December 02, 2012, 10:57:42 AM
(http://s19.postimage.org/5yzbrn8o3/image.jpg) (http://postimage.org/)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Joberg on December 02, 2012, 11:38:50 AM
Ha that's a good one, reminds me of my OPFOR days, don't think I saw any clusters that could beat that one but some of those guard units....well lets just say I'm sure they knew their jobs well but its a good thing their jobs weren't infantry!
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: BravoFxTrt on December 02, 2012, 07:43:28 PM
Too fucking funny and whats bad is it happens that way in r/l lol, just glad I got to see some of the real shit I saw while I served. Very funny man, thanks.
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: SAS~Riken on December 14, 2012, 06:00:25 AM
Ya know Bombs.... That right there is the reason we all have the phrase, "Covering Fire" :D Only these guys went a bit overboard on that.

Another one would have to be, the commander said he wanted a mass attack on the enemy in that building.... :D


The third one is one that all Marines know... Cluster Fucks!!!   :D They are clustered, and they're fucked  :D :D :D
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: RedSpade on December 18, 2012, 06:27:06 PM
Sniper Feeling

While interviewing a US Army Special Forces soldier  in Afghanistan, a Reuters News reporter asked the soldier what he felt when killing Al Qaeda with a sniper rifle.

The soldier thought for a moment and replied, "Recoil."
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: HotelAlpha on December 18, 2012, 09:37:35 PM
(http://i45.tinypic.com/2a7eej8.jpg)

IF you have a dirty mind then you would see the ghraphicness decipted...
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: BravoFxTrt on December 18, 2012, 09:54:42 PM
yeah he should f@#k something his own size
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: The_Alaska_Man on December 18, 2012, 10:01:02 PM
(http://ww4.hdnux.com/photos/15/17/10/3469871/3/628x471.jpg)

 :D
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: S3231541 on December 20, 2012, 09:02:32 AM
(http://www.game4players.com/images/hry/stredni/rise-of-the-tower_1351.jpg)

It's REAL!!!!

(https://fbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/407351_510199185677151_980897703_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: The_Alaska_Man on December 20, 2012, 10:38:34 AM
 ???
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: BravoFxTrt on December 21, 2012, 12:54:08 AM
 ??? ???
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: HotelAlpha on December 21, 2012, 09:39:49 PM
 SANTA GET OUT OF THE WAY (too late)
(http://i46.tinypic.com/5vpzb9.jpg)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Ghost129er on December 22, 2012, 11:36:32 PM
SANTA GET OUT OF THE WAY (too late)
(http://i46.tinypic.com/5vpzb9.jpg)


LOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOL! THIS ONE IS EPIC! xD Would love to fly in that murder weapon!
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Kilo on December 23, 2012, 12:04:17 PM
Look mom: NO tail!
(http://www.talkingproud.us/Military/B52%20No%20Tail/files/b52notail.jpg)

Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: HotelAlpha on December 27, 2012, 05:14:14 PM
Quote
Look mom: NO tail!
Looks like someone got neutered!
No, that Stratofortress is an uncuttable bulk of metallic awesomeness.
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Wildchild on December 27, 2012, 08:23:10 PM
Psssh, Ma! One wing!!

(http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2091/2112723594_21abfbfcfc_o.jpg)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: CWMV on December 27, 2012, 08:29:09 PM
You know I always thought that was a fake until I read the story on it.
F-15=fraking awesome.
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Wildchild on January 07, 2013, 08:31:26 PM
(http://www.strategypage.com/gallery/images/nancies.jpg)
(http://www.strategypage.com/gallery/images/army-of-one.jpg)
(http://militaryhumor.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/military-humor-funny-joke-soldier-army-camouflage-branch-covered-tank.jpg)
(http://militaryhumor.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/military-humor-funny-joke-soldier-army-retirement-cavalry-way-helicopter.jpg)
(http://militaryhumor.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/military-humor-funny-joke-soldier-army-artillery-ak-ak-47-cannon.jpg)
^^Anyone notice the white walls? :D
(http://0.tqn.com/d/politicalhumor/1/0/g/7/3/military-intelligence.jpg)
(http://www.sydesjokes.com/pictures/m/military_humor036.jpg)
(http://militaryhumor.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/military-humor-funny-joke-army-soldier-hills-have-eyes-big-guns.jpg)
(http://militaryhumor.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/military-humor-funny-joke-Tank-Camouflage-girls.jpg)
(http://www.jokeoverflow.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/bvxeg1.jpg)
(http://www.anniemayhem.com/blog%20pics/MilitaryMotivator2008_05_29.jpg)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: SAS~Bombsaway on January 08, 2013, 12:32:52 PM
(http://s19.postimage.org/us7naqqeb/196035_10152124032088475_1667602628_n.jpg) (http://postimage.org/)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: HotelAlpha on January 08, 2013, 04:41:56 PM
ROFL at all these by bombs and other guys!!! Great selection :D
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: BravoFxTrt on January 09, 2013, 02:26:30 AM
I Love them all!
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Fryslanboy on January 09, 2013, 06:13:50 AM
(http://militaryhumor.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/military-humor-funny-joke-navy-submarine-ships-designed-to-sink-others-require-assistance.jpg)

Been there myself! :)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: harpia on January 10, 2013, 05:07:18 PM
Making barbecue on IL2. As prefer well cooked or undercooked?
(http://www.sas1946.com/images/imageshit/img687/9838/10012013234051.jpg) (http://www.sas1946.com/images/imageshit/download/687/10012013234051.jpg)

Uploaded with ImageShack.us (http://www.sas1946.com/images/imageshit/dead/dead.gif)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: BravoFxTrt on January 12, 2013, 06:05:29 AM
Medium Rare please, lol
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: jdo3 on January 12, 2013, 09:17:33 AM
Submarine Racing ROFL

Looks like you've already burnt that steak, man...
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Wildchild on January 12, 2013, 05:11:03 PM
Medium Rare please, lol

Same thing please :D
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: HotelAlpha on January 12, 2013, 08:58:52 PM
Rare and juicy now ;D
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: mojojojo on January 13, 2013, 06:10:19 PM
(http://militaryhumor.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/military-humor-funny-alternative-history-star-wars-jedi-aircraft-carrier-starfighter.jpg)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Wildchild on January 13, 2013, 06:49:41 PM
That needs to be posted to the Star Wars thread :D
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: harpia on January 24, 2013, 06:08:04 AM
(http://www.sas1946.com/images/imageshit/img577/1998/militarbanguela.jpg) (http://www.sas1946.com/images/imageshit/download/577/militarbanguela.jpg)

Uploaded with ImageShack.us (http://www.sas1946.com/images/imageshit/dead/dead.gif)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: SAS~Bombsaway on January 24, 2013, 06:53:42 AM
WEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(http://s19.postimage.org/wakpkafxf/428193_322935647825884_753557130_n.jpg) (http://postimage.org/)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Joberg on January 24, 2013, 01:17:57 PM
No fair! i remember being restricted to like 10 or 15mph in the training area!
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: k9catforce on January 24, 2013, 10:31:42 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S4Y43aH9xx0

Fun little folksong about aircraft.
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: k9catforce on January 24, 2013, 11:00:23 PM
And another one:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=723byD_0UrQ
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: BravoFxTrt on January 25, 2013, 08:59:53 AM
Its more like "Throw a nickel on the grass and kiss a Fghter Pilots ass", lol   Thats how our guys used to sing it.

555TH TFS
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: KG3_V on February 06, 2013, 01:46:00 PM
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/3833542912/h0D757BAC/)

Hammertime

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5AhzI9-sSgg

(http://www.justsaypictures.com/images/hitler-stole-my-seat-2600.jpg)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: SAS~Bombsaway on February 06, 2013, 02:13:06 PM
Those are funny. I like them. Thanks for posting. :)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: KG3_V on February 06, 2013, 02:25:11 PM
I´m better in posting disgusting under the line jokes
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: HotelAlpha on February 06, 2013, 06:06:56 PM
Umm I would not tell Hitler to "Get out of my seat dawg" cause either himself or one of his cronies will get my ass kicked or even worse my nutz kicked  :P


Edit: Please dont quote pictures just a few posts up. Thanks. SAS~Bombsaway. :)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Moggy Cattermole on February 08, 2013, 05:56:12 AM
That would be awesome under the christmas tree!
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: RedSpade on February 08, 2013, 02:07:09 PM
 ???  I'd have to get a larger tree, I think.
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: BravoFxTrt on February 08, 2013, 02:38:47 PM
Lol, good one. BTW are those OH-58 Kiowa's, I want one.
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: KG3_V on February 09, 2013, 05:58:48 AM
Siri, it is time to invade Russia ?

(https://twimg0-a.akamaihd.net/profile_images/1899761684/image.jpg)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: HotelAlpha on February 09, 2013, 12:09:43 PM
  HAHA

 Siri: Adolf, yes.
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: hammer2787 on February 19, 2013, 07:05:39 PM
once you open the package the value decreases
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Tofolo on February 25, 2013, 05:45:22 AM
Laughed so hard at this:
(http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8qlllfs3L1rvrkbso1_500.jpg)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: HotelAlpha on February 26, 2013, 06:11:33 AM
They'll get 200 or so fakes....
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: pdittrich on March 10, 2013, 09:06:37 AM
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7082683648/h9534B084/)
found this over at the cheezburger network...
not exactely military, but funny, if maybe somewhat offending to beardbearers  :P
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: UberDemon on March 11, 2013, 12:01:29 AM
"Please re-submit for further disapproval."

Simple but effective... funny if you are saying it.
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: SAS~Bombsaway on March 15, 2013, 11:38:17 AM
Budget cuts are tough....

(http://s19.postimage.org/fxfk7q3ab/156048_352740238178758_1706567299_n.jpg) (http://postimage.org/)

The one guy you dont want to go into battle with......

(http://s19.postimage.org/6eags055v/556817_358553457586419_41256885_n.jpg) (http://postimage.org/)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: HotelAlpha on March 15, 2013, 03:27:05 PM
LOL that is the Russian or Warsaw pact country army?

Judging by their AK's 

ANYWAYS.... Gentlemen in florida who would like their trucks with a nice deal (Erhem Wildchild :D)
 
(http://i48.tinypic.com/350lxr5.jpg)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: HotelAlpha on March 15, 2013, 03:28:29 PM
Here's their website:
http://www.nationstrucks.com/index.htm (http://www.nationstrucks.com/index.htm)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Wildchild on March 15, 2013, 09:00:31 PM
HEAVEN!!!!!!!!!!!

 ;)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: HotelAlpha on March 15, 2013, 09:49:47 PM
Yup Wildchild. Though I prefer a SturmGewehr better. 

 8)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: BravoFxTrt on March 15, 2013, 09:55:26 PM
LOL's!
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: santobr on April 10, 2013, 09:13:33 AM
(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/b5/Two_Avro_Ansons_%28L9162_and_N4876%29_%22piggyback%22_in_a_paddock_near_Brocklesby_1.jpg)
Now you know how airplanes are made...


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1940_Brocklesby_mid-air_collision

 :D



santobr.
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: HotelAlpha on April 10, 2013, 12:07:24 PM
plane sex  :)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: kaxII on April 11, 2013, 04:25:30 AM
Well I guess I'm going to have to buy a house in 'murica fly over get s license and buy myself a truck!
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Venator77 on April 14, 2013, 07:20:30 AM
(http://fc03.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2012/063/7/a/flexible_planes_by_zekethekamikazi-d4rqzq3.jpg)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: HotelAlpha on April 14, 2013, 11:38:17 AM
Haha!  ;)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Ghost129er on April 15, 2013, 11:32:30 AM
Buahahahaha!

But I do feel bad for the 109... I would have wanted one! D:
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: HotelAlpha on April 15, 2013, 03:56:11 PM
Well it was the engine power or the gear that failed them, 1/3 of all 109's built (~30,000 built in total) crashed due to the gear being too close together. And my RC Bf-109 has not had the problem fixed so I crash it on Takeoff all the time!
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Ghost129er on April 15, 2013, 11:08:19 PM
Can you send a picture of your RC Bf-109? Ill upload one of my RC fw-190 :3
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: razor1uk on April 17, 2013, 07:17:48 AM
I'd say opening the throttle too quickly rather than too soon is the problem for bad take-offs, certainly IRL Bf.109's.
This might apply to the RC versions too - being eager to fly and thinking its only a model sometimes means that some of the mistakes of real life pilots are recreated.
then again, when I had my Foxjet 26" with 2ch Futaba and an unbadged 0.20cc-ish glow motor (its carburettor was inside the rear wall of the engine units fuel tank/engine mount. I briefly had it flying - I did the same sort of tak-offs... it went up stalled, regained flight speed, then stalled again into the ground... perhaps in hindsight, I also shouldn't have used the radio sytem from my Kysho Raider circuit car in it - little to none adjutment settings to limit servo control throws/limits - inexperience, eagerness and over controlling reduced it after a few attempts to split obeche wing skins and ripped through firewall motor bolts.
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: HotelAlpha on April 17, 2013, 04:25:05 PM
OK Ghost, not my own bird but it is the exact same model:
(http://i45.tinypic.com/m836t.jpg)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Wulfy on April 29, 2013, 09:49:28 PM
It model would prabally have been better if it had a more detailed skin but still, its still really cool :)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: HotelAlpha on April 30, 2013, 06:07:59 PM
Can you send a picture of your RC Bf-109? Ill upload one of my RC fw-190 :3
   


So where the 190?
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: kaxII on May 27, 2013, 09:11:58 AM
(http://i283.photobucket.com/albums/kk297/M777A2/FUN%20STUFF/spetsnaz.jpg)
and a funny scene from HBO's generationkill
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cdxAVKDq27g&list=PLA9134BE1A605950A
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: HotelAlpha on May 27, 2013, 09:27:51 AM
Those Soviet Spetsnaz are boss! I prefer them over US Navy seals or Special ops.
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: kaxII on May 27, 2013, 09:29:38 AM
Me too, i've always prefered russian things, planes and helicopters over western ones
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Kilo on May 27, 2013, 10:45:54 AM
What i like at russisn Spetsnaz:
In the US, they try negociating with the terrorists.
In mother Russia, they pass trough the terrorist's base with the BTR
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Joberg on June 19, 2013, 07:36:00 PM
All the other veterans and current troops should be able to appreciate this site if they haven't seen it yet--http://www.duffelblog.com/

It's kinda like TheOnion but by and for troops!
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Eexhaton on June 20, 2013, 04:00:43 PM
Try going toe-to-toe with the Israeli commando troops..

I bet those guys eat Spetznaz for breakfast.. :o
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Wulfy on June 29, 2013, 07:17:58 PM
lol that one gave me a nice hard laugh :D
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: LuseKofte on June 29, 2013, 07:50:01 PM
What i like at russisn Spetsnaz:
In the US, they try negociating with the terrorists.
In mother Russia, they pass trough the terrorist's base with the BTR

Also known to do so when there are children hostages in school , I kind of take this as a non cool not funny thing
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Dataman on July 07, 2013, 06:09:10 PM
Started hunting around on Cheezburger and found these:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=85FxLsHU8us

(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/3995539712/h3A9CC60D/)


(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/3345847808/h3C53745E/)


(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/3833542912/h0D757BAC/)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: barrett_g on July 07, 2013, 06:52:01 PM
Does the photo imply the tank is going to shoot you if you speed... Or was the tank speeding and slid off the road? LOL!
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Wulfy on July 08, 2013, 07:22:46 AM
true dat for the GAU-8!
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: S3231541 on July 27, 2013, 11:48:26 PM
Mean while in Navy Aviation Academy....

To become a great Navy Aviator, you must learn how to run on water :D
(http://www.sas1946.com/images/imageshit/dead/dead.gif)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: BravoFxTrt on July 27, 2013, 11:52:47 PM
Lol
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: HotelAlpha on July 28, 2013, 07:38:46 AM
I have this one, featuring Navy Seals!  :D
(http://i1285.photobucket.com/albums/a585/hotelalpha200/367222full_zps3798f5ad.gif) (http://s1285.photobucket.com/user/hotelalpha200/media/367222full_zps3798f5ad.gif.html)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Bizu on August 05, 2013, 12:33:18 PM
Just found this picture of Ion Dobran

That's a nice method to chill I guess  ;D ;D

(https://i1.ytimg.com/vi/-m38F0n8D7k/maxresdefault.jpg)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: BravoFxTrt on August 05, 2013, 01:12:45 PM
Once at an Airshow I was on top of an A-10 and fell asleep on the Left Engine Cowling, lol, The Public was running us ragged!

BTW the above Pic is SAS~Anto's Avatar
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: HotelAlpha on August 05, 2013, 01:24:54 PM
@Bravo, that's nice!

@Bodgan, what if the engine started and the pilot could not see him there since visibility was so bad?  ;D
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Bizu on August 05, 2013, 01:31:20 PM
@HA It was his plane
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: HotelAlpha on August 05, 2013, 01:42:24 PM
 :o
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: fastaviationdata on September 22, 2013, 11:18:43 PM
(http://www.strategypage.com/gallery/images/pick-a-winner.jpg)

(http://img.izismile.com/img/img2/20090226/640/humor_640_40.jpg)
(http://www.computertroublesolver.com/image-files/a10-born.jpg)

I like this one!hahaha
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Joberg on October 09, 2013, 07:45:08 AM
Good post on a good site
http://www.blackfive.net/main/2013/10/the_differentia.html#comments (http://www.blackfive.net/main/2013/10/the_differentia.html#comments)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: VF111Sundowner on October 10, 2013, 09:23:29 AM
AHHH  Merica!

(https://scontent-b-dfw.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn2/1378674_538987006179456_1923684871_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: fastaviationdata on October 11, 2013, 05:18:56 AM
 8)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Atoka220 on November 06, 2013, 07:48:24 AM
(http://kepfeltoltes.hu/131106/tengo_www.kepfeltoltes.hu_.jpg)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Atoka220 on November 06, 2013, 10:01:00 AM
(http://www.forties.net/militaryhumorbrooms.jpg)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Atoka220 on November 06, 2013, 10:03:27 AM
(http://www.swapmeetdave.com/Humor/TankHeadstand.jpg)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Atoka220 on November 06, 2013, 10:10:04 AM
LoLxd
(http://img2.joyreactor.com/pics/post/funny-pictures-military-auto-415092.jpeg)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Atoka220 on November 06, 2013, 10:15:24 AM
Pilots ::) :D
(http://www.aviation-humor.com/cms/images/media/leeuwispubli/again-017a-bogeyturning.gif)
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Typhoon Ib on November 08, 2013, 02:32:24 PM
(https://scontent-b-dfw.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn2/1378674_538987006179456_1923684871_n.jpg)
Hornet FTW!

"send em up, i am bored"
"send em up, make my day"
"i didnt know your mockup could fly"
"i do not shoot down cessnas!!!" :P
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: Joberg on November 17, 2013, 03:29:19 PM
http://www.duffelblog.com/2013/11/pentagon-scraps-lightsaber-weapons-program-gross-misconduct-numerous-injuries/ (http://www.duffelblog.com/2013/11/pentagon-scraps-lightsaber-weapons-program-gross-misconduct-numerous-injuries/)

You know thats exactly would happen too...
Title: Re: Military Jokes
Post by: VF111Sundowner on November 20, 2013, 05:41:42 AM
http://www.duffelblog.com/2013/11/pentagon-scraps-lightsaber-weapons-program-gross-misconduct-numerous-injuries/ (http://www.duffelblog.com/2013/11/pentagon-scraps-lightsaber-weapons-program-gross-misconduct-numerous-injuries/)

You know thats exactly would happen too...

I always imagined what i would do if I had a lightsaber.........

None of it good. LOL there would be trees cut down, half of cars everywhere. "Rob was here!" scrawled into various roadways.

Yep probably better I don't get one.