Hi Raven,
Your rig is quite a bit more powerful than mine, but the performance is similar. My gut feeling is that even a very modest rig these days is way beyond the capability of our creaky old game engine. I still love the ol' girl though!
I like to play with fps 30+ at 1920 x 1080 4xAA 4xAF, 'perfect' settings, no texture compression, forest=3, water=3, effects=1, TypeClouds=1, landgeom=3 etc.
If I go over 256mb I tend to start getting glitches and crashes, so it isn't worth it for me. 256mb is rock solid for me, and I have my own self-imposed limitations - I'm pretty selective now with mods. For example I run stock fx or the 'lite' fx package that comes with SAS modact, and there are some maps I have to avoid. I also write my own missions (aside from a few old favourite campaigns) and I only include the essential stuff (to me) - I figure if I can't see it from the cockpit, it isn't adding anything to my game experience. I don't build 60 plane missions, 'cos I can only shoot down a couple with a load of ammo. Similarly, I usually fly in good weather, and when I do use inclement weather, I use stock clouds.
Back in the day, SAS~CirX was the king of 'lite is best', and I've kinda gone back to that philosophy myself. It works for me. 'Heavy' mod installs would usually end up causing me grief, and I'd rather build missions and fly, than wrestle with a low performing or glitchy install. I'm very happy with my current modact builds.
All the best
KB